Part 1
flower LAUNDRY
This is HAMA Ward 16’s Flower LAUNDRY. This show is brought to you by a clumsy shop owner and cutie shop assistant duo, broadcasting from a special stage we painstakingly constructed out of cardboard.
Sit back and relax. Make your heart feel at ease. Shpend a few moments with us.
Flower Radio~.
(applause)
Clap clap clap. The applause sound effect was done by yours truly.
Kaf… The president told me I could do whatever I want, so I’m doing my birthday DazzLive in the style of my dream radio programme.
Wowow, look at this, Nagi-shan! We’re getting sho many commentsh!
Thank you sho much! We can really shee everyone’s shupport!
… Amazing. Everyone here has taken time out of their precious lives to watch our DazzLive…
Jiiiiin…
Nagi-shan, Nagi-shan. It’sh fine to shavour deep emotions, but if you keep going, it’ll turn into a blooper.
Oh, that’s right. I’ll save this feeling in the back of my mind and savour it later.
Um. We asked for contributions in advance through HAMA Tours’ official social media and telephone, and received many submissions.
First up, we have Radio Name: Pien Marmot. “The first semester is over, but I still can’t get used to school. How can I become friends with everyone?”
Hmm. That musht be a big problem for shtudents, right?
Even though there’s really nothing to be ashamed of, you’d feel a little embarrashed about being alone…
It’s okay. You’ll manage somehow. I missed the entrance ceremony on my first day because of a series of incidents, and I didn’t really get used to school life to begin with…
Oi. Fuck kind of advice is that?
Oof, a great comeback from my partner.
Who the fuck are you calling your partner.
Let me introduce my fun friends… or rather, our reliable guests. The Boar Room.
H-Hello! Thank you for having me.
I came to see if Gii could do his radio show properly! Rest easy my friend, the super duper reliable Yowa Netaro is here~
I’m on edge ‘cause you’re here. Seriously, just Toi would have been enough, you’re nothing but trouble.
(Ahaha. … But, why did you miss your entrance ceremony, Nagi-kun…?)
Today, we bring you this show together with these members, as well as our very own ace employee from HAMA Tours who’s watching over us from the sidelines.
Let’sh begin, then—
Clap clap clap—.
Now, we’d like you all to respond to prompts submitted by our listeners. Whoever pulls out the most spectacular laugh will receive a handsewn floor cushion. First to collect ten will get a truly wonderful treasure…
I’m not doing all that!?
I’m only here ‘cause Natsume had work and couldn’t come, and because Toi told me to.
I’m never doing comedy again. Never again. Absolutely. Never.
What a strong denial… Yup, as expected of Ryui, he knows all about how to ‘lead in’ to a joke.
Oi, don’t twist my words to push your own agenda, bastard.
Alright, the topic. Ta-da. “I don’t like this kind of flower LAUNDRY. What kind?”
Don’t fuckin’ ignore me!
Ryui kicks Nagi.
Ouchie. A roundhouse kick — or rather, a clean comeback — landed squarely on my butt.
But there’s a part of me that felt a little relieved by the pain.
Some time later.
(... Ahh, that was hilarious! A whirlwind of oogiri, a song recommendation segment, an improvised manzai routine, and time to respond to comments.)
(Along the way, a pizza was mistakenly delivered here, and a woman who got lost and a dog on a walk suddenly barged in, so I wondered how things would turn out…)
…Thank you so much for staying with us until the end. It’s almost time to say goodbye to Flower Radio—
Halt!
Th-that voice is…!
Milord!
I mean, Muneuji. Wh-what brings you here?
This time, I’ve come to make a flower delivery as a representative of the flower LAUNDRY Helpers Team. It’s sent by L4mps, and the recipient is…
You, Hachinoya-san.
Huh? Huh? What do you mean. I… haven’t heard anything about this.
Ehehe. Because it was a surprise!
You always give us such lovely flowers, Nagi-kun, so we decided to give you some, and after discussing with Yodaka-san, Danny-san and Sonia, we prepared them!
A birthday bouquet for Nagi-shan. Everyone made it with lots of love!
Happy birthday. May you continue to grow healthy and strong, Gii!
——......
Tch, annoying. This is gonna be a long one, ain’t it?
I had anticipated this, and so I brought soft celebrity-grade tissues that won’t sting no matter how much you wipe, as well as some rooibos tea for hydration. Please feel free to use them.
Here, Nagi-kun. Wipe your nose. Wipe away your tears too, okay?
O-okay. Sob sob sob.
(... It’s a miracle that someone would celebrate my birthday.)
(I thought something like that would only happen once in my life.)
(It’s an unexpected return of the Happiness Birthday Celebration—...!)
Mufufu. It might be a liiiiittle sweeter than usual tonight.
….hic. Thank you for listening to Flower Radio today. I hope we can meet again sometime.
Everyone, even if it’s hot, make sure to cover yourself with a blanket so your stomach doesn’t go cold!